Self Esteem in Teen

1. Set Clear-cut Goals

Your teen can benefit greatly when you help her find a particular interest, set an objective and develop a plan for reaching it. She may be drawn to an activity where there are inherent goals, both incremental and ultimate, such as a scouting program, 4-H club, gymnastics or martial arts. You can watch your teen's self esteem soar as she reaches each level on her way to the final accomplishment.

When your child wants to explore something without built-in measures for success, be creative about developing clear-cut goals. Suppose he is interested in robotics or another aspect of science. In this case, you will want to help him define certain steps on the way to becoming an aficionado of the subject. You teen can begin with simple circuitry processes and work his way up to the more complicated designs. Proving to himself that he can accomplish something tangible in a complicated area will naturally boost self-image.

2. Teach Teens to Project Confidence

Has anyone ever told you to put on a brave face and you did just that? Chances are you felt better about the obstacle you were facing simply by bucking up, standing tall and putting on a smile. If you find your insecure teen slouching or frowning, ask her to participate in your little experiment. Though she may be reluctant, gently insist until she complies. Make her practice projecting confidence until it becomes an automatic response.

3. Work on Mind, Body and Soul

Teens have a tough time developing and maintaining a positive image of themselves while in the awkward process of mentally, physically and emotionally growing toward maturity. As a parent, you can ease your child's transition to adulthood by acknowledging and addressing her progress in these three distinct areas. Encourage spiritual growth by getting your teen involved in a community organization that shares her values regarding faith. Promote physical wellbeing by helping your teen find a sport or form of physical exercise that she truly enjoys. Inspire your teen to develop her mental faculties by challenging her to think analytically and logically.


Lisa Mooney holds a biology degree from UNC Charlotte and specializes in writing about stress management, family dynamics, personal relationships, nutrition and pediatric medicine. A survivor of cervical cancer, she credits her health in large part to her family and a positive social network.

Last Updated: May 6, 2008

1. Build Self-Esteem Early

Self-esteem is literally how somebody perceives himself, or more accurately, how highly he regards himself. Self-esteem is affected in many different ways but typically begins with how we think we're perceived by our parents and later our teachers, other adults and peers. Self-esteem is an important factor for many individuals to build successful personal and professional lives. A healthy sense of self-esteem begins early, but is perhaps most fragile and transient during the teen years.

2. Teen Years Can Impact Self-Esteem for Life

Teens have a lot of stress, and a lot of it has to do with peer pressure and body issues. The changing hormonal levels of the adolescent brain can wreak havoc on a person's sense of self. The identity isn't completely formed until well into one's 20s, so self-esteem is an important factor in the teen years. However, negative body issues or anxiety about relationships or peer groups can cause teens to become depressed, angry or agitated, or turn to drugs and alcohol in an effort to stop negative feelings of self-loathing.

3. Look for Negative Influences

Helping a teen to develop a healthy self-image is important to helping her to become a healthy adult. Recognizing negative influences in a teen's life can be a big factor in how effective self-esteem construction will be. Negative peer groups or negative media influences can be quite detrimental to the budding teen's self image, so monitoring and being aware of who your teen hangs out with, and what media she takes in, is important in understanding what messages she's receiving. However, you must do this monitoring in a nonintrusive and open way that lets her know you trust her and that you want to be there as she grows into a healthy adult.

4. Bond and Relate to Your Teen

Staying involved and updated on what the teen is interested in is an important way to bond and stay connected to him, which will help him to know that there are people on his side. Trying to understand his special talents and interests will let him know that what he thinks and has to say is valuable. Active listening skills are very important when dealing with teenagers. Learning to engage him and trying to live in his world (even for an hour or so a day) can be beneficial in helping him build a sense of self that's securely rooted in talents and pursuits.

5. Work on Your Self-Esteem, Too

Of course, adults try to be good examples for their children, but there are quite a few "train wreck" adults running around who do nothing but harm to budding adolescents. Learning how to be a positive role model and how to inhabit a healthy sense of self-esteem yourself is an effective way of building a teenager's confidence. Practice what you preach and you'll be greatly respected.
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Last Updated: April 15, 2008